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Jeanette's Happenings and Fun Stuff Issue 1 Volume 2 | March 5, 2007 |
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Mystery and Magic -- Live the Impossible! |
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(Excerpted from author's current book in progress, copyright 2007)
You probably
think that only
witches and magicians have familiars. Well, you're wrong. If you love your pet,
and lavish attention on it, chances are your pet wants to please you.
If your dog or cat does magic tricks that drive
you out of your mind--such as transforming a newspaper into raw steak,
please keep in mind--he learned these tricks from you. Oh, not directly, of
course, but because of a little known side-effect of your loving relationship
with your pet. YOU have made your pet a familiar.
It's not their fault, you know. The familiars, I
mean. And most of the time it's not the owners' fault, either. If you're lonely,
it makes perfect sense to go get a
nice dog, cat, or canary, doesn't it? Or a rat. Or a raven, ferret, cow,
monkey, piranha… Well, you know what
I mean.
So you have this nice pet, and of course you talk to it. Who doesn't? In time, the two of you get closer, and you just know that your pet understands you, loves you, and thinks just as you do about nosy neighbors, the paperboy who flings your newspaper into puddles, the politician who changes your bus routes, and those sadistic people who make childproof caps. You pour out your pain to your sweet and dear friend. The dog or cat. Or pot-bellied pig, wallaroo, Costa Rican zebra tarantula--whatever it might be. Before you know it, you've touched the magic of that friendship, and turned your beloved pet into a familiar, quite by accident. Doesn't sound too bad, does it? But the consequences can be disastrous.
Now, Hugh was a bigger problem. Well, smaller in one sense--capuchin monkeys only weigh about eight pounds. Mr. Thompson, our butcher, had given his elderly aunt a capuchin monkey. Little Hugh could help out Miss Cramer with fiddly chores: bringing her the remote control, punching the start button on the microwave, and discouraging door-to-door solicitors by swiping their briefcases. However, Hugh was a worrywart. His beloved lady was forever losing her dentures, out of windows, down the toilet, in the visiting missionary's pamphlet box, you name it, she left them there.
Hugh cudgeled his brain and got a bright idea. A
great many elderly
I'm currently in the planning
stages for developing a
non-profit pet rescue organization. I thought I'd
call it WAM-FAM: Witches and
Magicians' Familiars Rescue League.
I'm currently looking for active members. Perhaps we could put out a little
booklet. If any of you have
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Special Offer from Jeanette: In the section below, I've featured a book written by my friend, Jana Oliver. To earn a free ebook of Sojourn, offered in cooperation with Dragon Moon Press, just e-mail me at the address given below with your advice on the following question. If you had your own pet (magical or mundane) with a single magical power, what creature would it be, and what power would it have? By the way, it's totally unfair to choose powers like granting the owner free wishes! NOTE: If you'd like an ebook copy of my own book, The Shadebinder's Oath, mention that, too. To claim your eBook(s) e-mail me at my new address: dragonfly (at) jeanettecottrell (dot) com with the words Newsletter Advice in the subject line. I'll be sure to provide your invaluable advice in future issues, space permitting. All eBooks offered through this site are in *.lit format, and require the use of the free Microsoft Reader which may be downloaded at this link. |
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Sojourn has been declared a finalist in Foreward Magazine's Book of the Year award.
JEANETTE ASKS: Jana, what ideas have jumped out of the blue and just smacked you between the eyes, and left you feeling I HAVE to put this into a book? JANA SAYS: A few years back a noted mystery author announced that Walter Sickert was Jack the Ripper. She spent millions of dollars in an effort to find evidence tying him to the crimes. Her loathing for this long-dead painter was immense. She raved about what a monster he was, proclaiming him to be a sick, psychopathic individual who reveled in the slaughter of helpless women. (Her actual language was far more graphic.) In essence, she defamed a dead man, as there is evidence that Sickert was not in Britain during the time of the murders. Whether Sickert was indeed the Ripper wasn't what caught my attention. What piqued my interest was the human cost of such an assertion. I began to envision an altruistic young doctor working amongst the poor in Whitechapel, starving himself so that he could treat those without any money. His life is dedicated to service. In short, the guy is a saint. What would it be like for him to learn that one hundred and seventy years in the future he is believed to be history's most famous (and heinous) serial killer? That his family's name is forever blackened by his supposed deeds? All his self-sacrifice would be cast aside by one person's allegations. In this case, the one person is an author keen to make millions off his "discovery" of the "real" Whitechapel Murderer. That premise is what fueled SOJOURN, my first book in the Time Rovers Series. It proved an intriguing story and an indirect way to remind people that even the dead have reputations worthy of respect. JEANETTE ASKS: Tell me about a pet you have owned or know with a particularly annoying magical ability, and how you dealt with (or chose to live with) this irritating habit. JANA SAYS: We are owned by a furry tyrant (a cat). This is not an evil cat, but one that likes to play head games with you. It's the "command the human" trick from which it derives great enjoyment. Said furry tyrant was chosen by my husband even though the spouse was dragging his heels at the notion of acquiring another cat after the previous feline soared off to Cat Heaven. As we're viewing the pound's inmates, I found a calico kitty with a gregarious attitude. All the while hubby is prowling the cages and muttering under his breath how we don't need another cat. He stops in front of a cage. Midnight looks at spouse. Spouse looks at Midnight. ZING! The magic arced through the air. Husband says, "How about this one?" Those four words sealed our fate.
Since that time
Midnight (who is, of course black and white) uses her magic sparingly, but to
good effect.
She is expert at bending human will to meet her needs.
Items (earrings, pens, etc.) left unattended will
mysteriously transport themselves to another location just to remind us that
she's in charge. The food bowl is never empty or we pay heavily for that
transgression. And when we leave her alone overnight (or at the vet)
Any attempts at breaking away from her iron grip are met with that look from those yellow eyes. ZING! the magic zaps us and we find ourselves her humble servants once again. I just wish I could learn the trick. It'd be great for acquiring an agent, followed quickly by a multi-million dollar book deal. Ah, there she is again, looking up at me and reinforcing the bondage. Time to go fill the food bowl. I live to serve. (at right, Jana and her husband in Victorian attire)
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All free
eBooks are offered through arrangement with Dragon Moon Press, |
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Jeanette Cottrell 2007 All
Rights Reserved www.jeanettecottrell.com dragonfly (at) jeanettecottrell (dot) com |
even
to the engaging little half-smile. It's not his fault that his former owner had
a vendetta against the boys who sprayed graffiti on her fences. All he'd done
was to help her control them with
We
once rescued a dog whose master had died. From Mr. Lindstrom's viewpoint (shown
at left), this particular trick made a world of sense, I'm sure. If you're going
to housebreak a puppy, why not teach him to go outside by himself? I just wished
he'd taught Dawg to open door handles instead of 
people
lived in Miss Cramer’s apartment complex, many of whom left their windows open.
Within two days, Miss Cramer had a dozen new sets of dentures which she could
lose to her heart's content. On Mr. Thompson's next visit, he was accosted by
several senior citizens waving their canes and walkers, and
I'll
gladly send any of my subscribers a