|
Jeanette's Happenings and Fun Stuff Issue 7 Volume 1 | December 10, 2006 |
|
Mystery and Magic -- Live the Impossible! |
|
|
|
Choosing a Magical
Beast as a Family Pet In the first place, if you have any wild notion of obtaining a fairy, centaur, elf, or mermaid, please forget it immediately. Trafficking in sentient creatures is strictly prohibited by International Law. Moreover, such creatures have many friends who are only too happy to avenge the wrongs done to their kind. Unicorns and pegasi are often companionable, but such relationships require a standard six-month apprenticeship program to insure compatibility. As it is currently December, it is far too late to consider such a creature as an addition to the family for the holidays.
For the sake of practicality, this article will confine itself to the most commonly accepted magical creatures, the ones we all see every day, wandering around the neighborhood. Specifically, these are pixies, gargoyles, golems, and pseudo-dragons.
GRIFFONS/GRYPHONS: Children everywhere plead with their parents for
griffons every single year. They're so cute and cuddly in those Disney
movies--you know, 101 Griffons, and that one about the Griffon with the
big ears who lived in a circus? The problem is what's cute on television
often winds up being big, demanding,
GOLEMS: Owning a golem has many advantages. As they're made of wood or clay, they don't require food or litter boxes. They come in many sizes, from animated Lego robots to boy-sized golems such as Pinocchio, shown at left. Parents beware: Many children quickly discover that animated pencils can do their class work for them. Therefore, most schools ban golems. Possession of one on school grounds can lead to suspension. In my own opinion, a golem can make a perfect pet. Although too stiff to be cuddly, they can be charming playmates, tireless, and focused on their owners' interests, as the movie Toy Story so aptly demonstrates. Problems can occur when golems are larger than their childish owners, but a simple set of shackles on the toy shelf can be to restrain their enthusiasm.
No matter what magical creature you choose as a holiday pet for your family, I urge you to research the needs of the animal beforehand. Remember, there are many fine animal rescue societies available, as well as your local humane association.
|
|
READER ADVICE -- I wish to thank all readers who have offered
their invaluable advice to this columnist, and hope they will continue to offer
their input and support. Among others, I've received the following advice on
How to Cure a Unicorn's Sniffles.
I also loved Melissa's solution for a Pixie Infestation! I had entirely forgotten this effective remedy Melissa -- Run to your local drugstore for the new Decorative Wall Mounted Pixie Trap complete with container and tube of Pixie remover. It works pretty much the same as a flytrap but there's no poison or electrocution. Pixies get stuck and can be dislodged from the trap with the Pixie remover. After capture put them in the provided container and send back to the company where experienced Pixie handlers will dispose of the Pixies humanely.
If you'd like to share your own experiences with magical creatures as pets,
please let me know, and I'll be glad to share your wisdom with my readers. Just hit
reply on this newsletter, or e-mail me at
jeanette at jeanettecottrell.com
with the words Newsletter Advice in the subject line. I'll be sure to provide your
invaluable advice in future issues, space allowing. |
 OFFER/NEWS
|
|
|
|
Jeanette Cottrell 2006 All
Rights Reserved www.jeanettecottrell.com jeanette at jeanettecottrell.com |
Also,
is slipped
into the mix, as a friend of mine discovered when he ordered a camelopard, sight
unseen, based on his family's coat of arms. He didn't realize that a camelopard is simply a giraffe by another name,
and a lot more messy. 
noisy, and very, very hungry. And that
doesn't even allow for the problem of cleaning up the yard after them. Have
you seen the size of those pooper-scoopers? Even so, every year, thousands
of Griffon kittens are adopted, and just as regularly, the Griffon Rescue Society
is stuck with thousands of gangly adolescent Griffons who no longer fitted into
the apartment houses of their owners. Please, if you adopt a griffon, be sure
you can adequately answer these questions: 
Is your house or apartment zoned
for Griffons? 
GARGOYLES:
I'm a bit biased, I'm afraid. My mother adores gargoyles. The older
she gets, the more she appreciates their steadfast qualities. As they're made of
stone, they don't shed on the furniture, or spit up hairballs. They purify
water, thus discouraging mosquitoes. They move slowly enough that they're
rarely in the way of the vacuum cleaner. The grandkids can tumble all over
them, with no fear for damage on either side. And finally, when Mom heads out
on her daily amble with her walker, her trusty gargoyle is always trudging along
at her own pace. In fact, he acts as a handy stone bench when she pauses for
brief rest. a handy there to move at her own pace. On the other hand, many a
young couple has purchased a gargoyle as a safe pet for a toddler, only to find
the thing lumping around sadly when the baby grows into an active child. A
gargoyle simply cannot keep up in a game of tag. Remember, a gargoyle is
a long-term investment. You might well own this pet for the next thousand years. 
DRAGONET/PSEUDO-DRAGONS 
