Jeanette's Updates and Happenings

Jeanette's Happenings and Fun Stuff
Issue 4 Volume 1 | August 18, 2006

Mystery and Magic -- Live the Impossible!

I've been mulling over a most important problem: How to Catch a Dragon, and have decided to share the results of my research. Of course, there are few basic problems--it needs to be alive, and relatively happy to be caught. Otherwise, my notion of using it for commuting to save on gas money is out the window.

Results of last month's drawing and news about next month's drawing are given at the bottom of the newsletter.

Also, if anyone else has any burning questions such as the one I've posed above, please let me know, and I'll see what I can find on the subject. It's amazing what you can find, if you know where to look!

Special offer: You can earn an extra chance at next month's drawing for the $15 Amazon gift certificate. Suggest a "research topic" for future newsletters, or give me a new idea on how to capture a dragon. E-mail your responses to me (address given at bottom) with the word "dragon" in the title. Offer good only for subscribers to my newsletter, as determined by your e-mail address.

HOW TO CATCH A DRAGON!

(research article provided as a public service by Jeanette Cottrell.)

A surprising amount of effort has been put into this over the years. However, much of it has to do with killing the dragon, thus getting into trouble for violations of the Endangered Species Act, as well as nullifying the dragon's benefit as a sheep-powered transportation device. Others entail the sacrifice of nubile virgins, which I have problems with, personally. Besides the difficulties with the afore-mentioned Endangered Species Act with yet another species, you just can't be sure what effect such an unbalanced diet would have on your basic dragon. I have zeroed in on the most humane methods available which appear to suit our purpose.

First, eliminate any and all bits of flint you might have on your property. Flint is also known as elf-arrow, and is used to repel dragons rather than capture them.

Certain herbs might be helpful in this endeavor. Horsetail, a large invasive feathery herb, is used to call snakes, and the serpentine origin of dragons appears to be unarguable. The following herbs are known to assist in hunting endeavors, and presumably one is not required to kill whatever is summoned in this way: fuzzy weed, mistletoe, parosela, yellow evening primrose. (Butterflies do not help, but I thought the picture was pretty...)

A very interesting method is propounded by Dr. Ernest Drake in his book Dragonology (Candlewick Press). "Take a mirror and sprinkle it with dragon dust. Then place a sapphire or other treasure outside the dragon’s lair. When the dragon emerges to investigate the gemstone, quickly bring out the mirror so that the dragon sees its own reflection. Cry, “Ecce Narcisso Draconus Attractivae!” This spell will tame the dragon—but watch out when it wears off!

I was unable to determine the efficacy of this spell due to a lack of sapphires, but if anyone has better luck, please, please let me know!

Other traditionally helpful devices when hunting for dragons include the following:
*Gemstone formed of a falling star
*The skull of an Irish water monster (The Dragon Lord by David Drake)
* Flute music, when combined with a wooden trap to fall on the dragon when it arrives.
* If all else fails, one can simply have the nearest elvish bard cast a Charm spell, or
* Use the more mundane method by accessing the command prompt and typing in the following at the prompt: #summon Dragon. I must confess I had little success with these last methods, although my cat appeared quite curious about about the elvish bard.

If you've had more success than I have in this particular endeavor--or if you'd simply like to weigh in on this matter, drop me an e-mail for an extra chance in the drawing. I'm always on the lookout for successful techniques. Particularly as gasoline prices keep soaring.

Of course, I've written a book on the subject myself, if you're interested. Check out a Young Adult fantasy with laughter and heart!

Read There's No Such Thing!

What happens when an elf summons a dragon to solve his problem? Especially when the problem involves cell phones, motor boats, and teenagers?

Denise Clark, Reviewer, in Denise's Reviews says:

There’s No Such Thing ...is a welcome tale of loyalty and friendship that is sure to delight young and old alike. Ms. Cottrell’s colorful characters, thought-provoking dilemmas and morals entwine into the body of the story, one that makes for a fun yet delightfully meaningful read.

Read about There's No Such Thing!

Contest Drawing

The winner of the July 15 drawing is:

Karen Barnett, from Bloomington, Minnesota

Karen won an 8-piece truffle selection from Godiva.com!

Congratulations, Karen!

New Contest, Drawing on September 15, 2006

A $15 gift certificate to Amazon.com!

If you live out of the States where such a gift certificate is useless to you, you will have the choice of any of my published books, suitably autographed.

Everyone who's signed up for my newsletter is eligible. The winner will be notified by e-mail. If there's no response within five days, another winner will be chosen. Watch out for my e-mail!